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ok so whats so hard about this anyway?

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  • ok so whats so hard about this anyway?

    Something I though I'd share with you great of group of people !

    Like a lot of people on the board I have to try and balance multiple responsibilities, I think its just called living. Since March my Dad has been very ill and has been in intensive care and is still there as I write this. He lives a 3 hour round trip drive from me. So visiting him has been a bit challenging but I have seen him 3-4 times a week.

    There are plenty of reasons why I could have chosen not to go and see him as frequently. But in spite of all the opportunties to rationalise my way out, I chose to go.

    Its a fairly easy drive and I soon selfishly realised I had a little window of time all to myself and a great opportunity for reflection.

    One thing I thought about was that if something was truly important too me I could make time to do it. ( Yes I know startling revelation.)

    The fact is that I have 'found' 12-20 hours a week to see my Dad. If you had said to me 2 months ago I would need to find this time I probably would have said "yeh right". Part of my personal paradigm has always included the belief that if you take on something new you have to give up something else in your life, after all we all only have 168 hours a week, keep a sensible balance kind of philosophy.

    Honestly I am hard pushed to tell you what it is I gave up to find this time.
    So where did the time come from? Who knows, and I dont really care ! Its just a lesson learned for me.

    I've been corresponding with Eric Mack http://www.ica.com who is a regular on this board. I've been looking to get him to coach me in using Lotus Notes to get my black belt in GTD

    I have been sharing this with Eric as we try to sort out long distance coaching him in California me in Australia and this quote is from his latest email.

    Yes, there's nothing quite like a crisis to get our attention and to cause us to really focus. It's almost funny how little time it takes to get clear on priorities and focus on the next action when we are in this mode. The trick is to find ways to get that clarity without the urgency.
    Thanks for reading.

    As for now I'll get back to my Weekly Review, yes the one I didnt have time to complete before

  • #2
    You are in danger.

    You wrote:
    Honestly I am hard pushed to tell you what it is I gave up to find this time.
    So where did the time come from? Who knows, and I dont really care ! Its just a lesson learned for me.
    In my opinion even in crisis situation you must know what you are NOT DOING and how important it is for you. The lack of this reflection may cause next crisis.
    I hope your father will get well soon.
    TesTeq

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: ok so whats so hard about this anyway?

      Originally posted by w_i_t_n_a
      Its a fairly easy drive and I soon selfishly realised I had a little window of time all to myself and a great opportunity for reflection.
      Interesting use of words: "Selfish". The word "selfish" has such a negative connotation. I wander why you chose to use it.

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      • #4
        Tes: I guess the fact that I couldnt identify what it was I thought I gave up may mean that its not that important in the long run. But I understand your point. Thanks for your wishes.

        Chariot: deliberate choice of word. I agree that it generally is used negatively. I suppose I was feeling guilty about having this time to myself and not using it to reflect (meditate) about my fathers situation.

        Regards

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        • #5
          Originally posted by w_i_t_n_a
          I suppose I was feeling guilty about having this time to myself and not using it to reflect (meditate) about my fathers situation.
          My mother entered a nursing home in November 1997 -- a 4-hour round trip for me. As I was her guardian, at first I made 3 or 4 trips a week to see that she was settled in and getting appropriate care. I then switched to every other week mode. From January 2000 through April 2000, I added another hour to the trip by picking up my father and taking him to the nursing home to visit. In April, he, too, entered the nursing home and the every other week trip continued until two or three months after his death in November 2001 at age 89. My mother's memory rapidly faded after his death, and she no longer recognized me, so my trips were spaced farther apart. She died in February this year at age 85. I made the trips because I felt a responsibility toward these people who gave me life and now needed the tending and nurturing they had so willingly given me when I needed it.

          Although the trips eventually became quite tiring, the drive was mostly through country, and I did cherish the solitude. I avoided the interstate in order to make the trip more pleasant. I did lots of productive thinking and introspection during those drives, and usually it wasn't about my parents' situation.

          One of the things I learned -- no matter what pressures and time constraints I face, I will always find some time each week for myself. Time to do nothing other than reflect on whatever is on my mind. I hope you do the same.

          Carolyn

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          • #6
            Thanks Carolyn

            Your post really connected with me and touched me.

            Emotionally I feel like I'm the only one going through the crisis. Rationally I know that other people in the circle of Dad's influence are also feeling the same things I am. I also know other people, like yourself have gone through the same thing, or something even more challenging. Going through this episode has given me another level of compassion towards people that I didn't thnk I had.

            Meditation has helped and I look forward to my 20-30 minutes 'bringing my mind back home'. However, I will definitely take your advice and find some additional time, outside my meditation practice for myself.

            I wrote my original post in the hope that people struggling to find time to complete things like their weekly review could draw on my story to understand that they really do have the time if they decide GTD is important enough to them.

            With your story added I hope more people will realise that they just need to make the decision about what is important to them and as the Nike ad says Just Do It !

            Unfortunately no one can make that choice for you.........

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